DEAR ABBY: My daughter “Lia” and her husband, “Jerry,” visited his mom and stepdad, “Gil,” a couple of months in the past. Gil gave Lia an inappropriate hug, along with his hand sliding to her buttocks. Lia stated Gil had executed this earlier than and it made her uncomfortable. She instructed Jerry, and he started watching his stepdad carefully after they visited.
Not too long ago, my household and I visited Jerry’s mother and father. Gil gave me a hug round my again, after which slid his hand down my again and grabbed my buttock with a fast squeeze! His spouse was standing in entrance of us when he did it. I checked out her in shock. She appeared down on the ground after which at me, expressionless. After I instructed my daughter what he had executed, she instructed me he had executed it to her as effectively.
My son-in-law needs to inform his mom he doesn’t really feel comfy leaving his younger daughters at their home. I do know Lia and I ought to have stated one thing when it occurred, however we have been caught off guard and didn’t name him on it. How do you suppose this needs to be dealt with? — CAUGHT OFF GUARD
DEAR CAUGHT OFF GUARD: Your daughter was proper to inform her husband what his stepdad has been doing, and you need to inform him, too, in case you haven’t already executed it. Gil’s conduct is extraordinarily inappropriate. It’s fascinating that he doesn’t discriminate — any buttock inside attain seems to be truthful recreation.
You, your daughter and Jerry want to elucidate that truth to Jerry’s mom and her husband. Any more, it is sensible that Jerry’s mom ought to go to her little granddaughters at Lia and Jerry’s with out her partner.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a highschool senior who has dated a lady on and off. The primary time, we didn’t have a ton in widespread, however we loved one another’s firm. She preferred one other man, so after about three months, she broke up with me. I used to be OK with it.
This 12 months, I began hanging out together with her once more. We began kissing immediately. She discovered somebody on-line that she someway obtained interested in inside a matter of hours, and two days later I used to be dumped once more. Her mother and father took her telephone away the subsequent day. She now says she regrets dumping me and I’m at all times on her thoughts in some unspecified time in the future within the day.
She doesn’t have excessive vanity or self-confidence. I believe she feels disconnected due to her a few years of homeschooling. She’s additionally extraordinarily depressed, I can inform that a lot. She has been speaking to a therapist for a 12 months, but it surely hasn’t helped, and she or he’s making an attempt one other one quickly.
I don’t know assist her or whether or not I ought to date her once more. I really like her, although, and I need to know her higher, however we’re each confused. I fear I’m not match for her even when we’re attracted. Please inform me how I will help her. — BOY IN LOVE IN GEORGIA
DEAR BOY IN LOVE: You’re proper that the woman you’re describing is “confused.” She’s not prepared for a relationship with anybody at this level. Earlier than you’ll be able to assist her, it is crucial that you just assist your self by recognizing that her issues are extra sophisticated than you’ll be able to cope with.
This isn’t a mirrored image on you. Caring for her — loving her — will not be sufficient. In your sake, take a step again. Be the good friend she wants however don’t depend on her for something extra till she has handled the problems that problem her.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
